Should I Stay or Should I Go? Making Contractual Decisions

It is that time of year again – people are starting to make decisions about whether they are staying or leaving their international school contracts. It can be really tough to make a decision, especially when you don’t have a job already lined up. So, if you are in the cycle this year, here are some things you may want to consider:

Your Current Job:

• On a scale of 1 to 10 – how much do you enjoy work when you are there?

• How well do you get along with your collegues and direct line management?

• How much autonomy and control do you have?

• Is your workload manageable?

• Do you like your students overall?

• Do you feel like you are being challenged enough?

• Do you feel valued at work?

• Do you like going into work most days?

• Are the pay and conditions good?

• Do you have enough resources to do your job effectively?

• How is your working environment?

Your Career (If this is important to you)

• Are there opportunities to progress in your current school?

• Are there opportunities for you to have more control over your work in your current role?

• Are there opportunities for a pay rise in your current position?

• Would you like to work for a higher tier, or a better known school?

Your Family

• If you are currently with a partner and/or children – are they happy where you are?

• If applicable, is there better opportunities for work for your partner elsewhere?

• If applicable, where are your children in their education? Will you get stuck if you stay?

• If you don’t currently have a partner and/or children, do you see a future for this where you are?

• Are there issues with family members back home that mean you would like to be closer?

• Are there any physical or mental health needs that would be better treated elsewhere?

Your Work/Life Balance

• Do you feel you have a life outside of your work?

• Are there opportunities for fun or hobbies where you live?

• Do you “gel” with your current country, or would you be more suited elsewhere?

• What do you like and dislike about your current country?

• Do you have the energy to have a life outside of work, or is this job burning you out?

• Do you only stay because of the money?

Making a decision this early in the school year can be really hard, and if you would like some impartial support to make your decision, I am offering a limited number of 3 solution-focused coaching sessions for the reduced price of ฿‎7000. 

Staff Wellbeing in Schools: Burning Out

I will always remember my first term working in a school. I couldn’t believe how absolutely knackered I was – I don’t think I had ever been so tired in my life. The job itself – school counsellor -didn’t hold as much responsibility as I had assumed in my previous roles managing charities. I wasn’t responsible for staff, or finding funding, or for keeping the organisations afloat. The problems I helped with, for the most part, weren’t ‘heavier’ than in previous roles where I had worked with young people in crisis. It was something else. Something else that I had never felt before – the feeling of being part of a huge machine that just doesn’t stop for breath. I laugh about it now – my caseload at the time was tiny in comparison to how many students I saw the year I left, but it wasn’t the amount of work as such, it was feeling like you could never stop – there was always something or someone that needed your attention. If you got distracted for even a second you would miss something important. And the emails – my goodness the sheer volume of emails!

I don’t find it surprising therefore that a 2019 study found that 40% of British teachers were considering leaving the profession – and this was pre-Covid. My guess is that it is much higher now. When I left my international school in 2022, a third of the teaching staff went at the same time. After 18 months of being locked into the country, many wanted to be closer to their families in Europe. Many left the profession altogether.

I have facilitated a number of staff wellbeing groups for both teaching and non-teaching staff recently, and the struggle is the same for both. The long first term has all school staff clinging on for dear life, struggling to get to the end. 14, 15 even 16 week terms are normal, and exhaustion is normalised. “What do you like best about your job” I ask people – “the holidays” are usually the reply. Term time is full of demands. Parents demanding that their children get the right extra-curricular or that the buses run on time. Students demanding that their teachers give them advice about essays and homework over the weekends. Senior Leadership ‘dropping’ a last minute activity or task upon already overloaded staff. A never ending stream of emails demanding to be read.

Unsurprisingly then, burnout is all too common amongst people who work in schools. I have seen it firsthand with a colleague I valued greatly. Sadly, by the time we realised what was happening for her, it was already too late and she ended up leaving. It starts with an expectation on yourself that you must prove yourself and you must do more. It ends with you physically unable to go to work. In between you feel guilt that you are letting people down, anger and irritability with colleagues and students, and, feeling unable to face colleagues, you isolate yourself. It is possible to bounce back from burnout, but for many this means a change of school, or leaving the profession altogether.

There are a number of factors which affect the likelihood of burning out which are not just about the workload someone is faced with. These include staff members feeling unappreciated by their management, not feeling they have autonomy or control over their work and a lack of community and support.

So what helps? When asked that question, school staff routinely say ensuring they do things outside of work, like hobbies or exercise. But they also acknowledge that these can be the first things to go when they start feeling tired. Asking for help from colleagues, and taking the time to check in with each other during the day can be a lifeline. Separating home from school by deleting your school email account from your phone is a controversial one, with some staff too scared to do so despite there being no requirement to have it on there. If you can’t delete it, don’t answer emails after 5pm. Or if you have to, schedule to send them for 7am the following day – this will reduce the expectation on you that you are available 24/7. And, finally, if you start to realise you are struggling, seek professional help from a counsellor or other mental health professional. Burnout is tough – understand the signs to get the help you need early.

If you would like to find out more about burnout in education you can download our free Anti-Burnout Book for Teachers here.

The First Symposium on Safeguarding & Child Protection, Cambodia, August 2023

Arming teachers with tools to protect children - Khmer Times (khmertimeskh.com)

This week I was honoured to be a part of the first Symposium on Safeguarding and Child Protection in Education, held in Phnom Pehn in Cambodia, alongside Sian Jorgensen from Encompass Safeguarding and the Child Protection Unit a non-governmental organisation dedicated to helping the local police solve serious crimes against children.

On day one I trained 16 people from the Anti-Human Trafficking and Child Protection Unit of the National Cambodian Police, teachers, charity workers and representatives from the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, in Basic Psychological First Aid for Young People. This was a Training the Trainers course, meaning they will then be able to train their colleagues and other staff who may find it helpful. Psychological First Aid is a relatively new concept in Cambodia and I hope the training is cascaded to those who need it.

The conference started in earnest the following day with Sian training 130 teachers from 40 schools across the region, in Level 1 Safeguarding. teaching them how to spot if a child or young person is being abused and what they need to report to their designated safeguarding leads. She also had trained about 16 people the day before to be safeguarding trainers themselves.

On day two participants heard talks on the laws in Cambodia with regards to sexual consent and sexting, safer recruitment of staff, how to talk to children who are disclosing abuse, and from me, a presention on Peer on Peer Abuse with a focus on sexually harmful behaviors, and a talk on the importance of believing children when they disclose, and being mindful of our body language and tone of voice as to not victim blame or further shame children. The main points of my presentations are below:

Peer on Peer Abuse: Main Points

1. Young men under 18 are the age group most likely to be victims of, and perpetrators of serious physical violence.

2. The place young women are most likely to be sexually harassed or assaulted worldwide is school

3. The strongest indicator of adult interpersonal violence is early exposure to it and peer approval of it. Young people because of their age and experience may not know what a healthy relationship looks like and will rely on scripts from their friends.

4. Where peer on peer abuse is normalised by friends and family, there is less safety seeking.

5. School has the opportunity to disrupt the normalisation of peer on peer abuse by teaching about consent and healthy relationships.

6. It is important to by tackle the “lower levels” of sexual violence such as sexualised name calling, rape “jokes” and cat-calling, because these normalise more serious sexual violence.

7. Do an audit of your school with your students – where do they feel unsafe? Where is bullying and sexual or physical violence most likely to happen? What suggestions do they have to disrupt this?

Responding to Children Who Have Been Harmed: Main Points

1. Hearing stories of abuse can be heart-breaking and it can be tempting to ignore the signs that something is wrong, but we mustn’t do that.

2. Shame, fear of, or attachment to their abusers can hinder a child disclosing what is happening to them.When we are talking to them, we must ensure we don’t blame them or shame them as this will stop them from talking to us, or perhaps even seeking help in the future.

3. What children and young people can’t tell you with their words they will show you with their behaviour. As educators we must look out for changes to their ABCs – appearance, behaviour or communication (this can include social media posts, drawings and creative writing).

4. Tone of voice and body language is incredibly important. We must pay attention to the messages we give off when talking to children and young people. A sharp or angry sounding tone of voice will make them feel shamed or a nuisance and will shut down conversation. Looking distracted or like you need to be somewhere else will make them feel like you don’t care, and shut down conversation.

5. It is not your job as educators to determine guilt or innocence. You don’t need to interrogate them, you just need the basic facts to handover to your DSL or the Child Protection Unit.

6. There have been too many cases where children have died at the hands of parents because, despite lots of people knowing that something was happening, no-one did anything, because they questioned themselves “what if I am wrong?”. As a former DSL in a school I would much rather get a report that turned out to be nothing, than something not being reported that was something. Don’t ask yourself “what happens if I am wrong” ask “what if I am right”

7. Sexual predators don’t only groom young people – they also groom the adults around them. In schools, it is important to be clear on what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour in terms of teacher-pupil. And let the students know who to report to if it happens to them. Students are rarely surprised when a teacher is arrested – they know who the creepy teachers are, the problem is they assume you do too.

I had a great time in Cambodia and I hope that I am able to go back to build upon the work we started there. Many thanks to Sian for inviting me along, and to everyone at the Child Protection Unit for their amazing hospitality and for pulling together a packed conference in a few short months.

You can donate to the Child Protection Unit, through their parent NGO the Cambodian Childrens Fund here. They are a small team who help the Cambodian National Police to solve serious crimes against children. They also support child victims and their families by supplying basic foods, and help train the Cambodian Police Force in interviewing and forensic skills. They do amazing work for victims.

Building a RAFT to help you when you are moving on

Moving countries, cities or even jobs or schools can be difficult. Even when we are excited to move on, we still experience the loss of where we have been. Building yourself a RAFT means you get to say good bye properly – and this is so important to ensure we don’t have unresolved losses later on leading to things like Depression. So what do you need to do? Check out the illustration below:

Change & Loss in International Schools

Living abroad can be both exhilarating and exhausting, and those who work or study in international schools often find themselves facing a continuous cycle of change and loss. In August there is a flurry of new faces, some incredibly excitable, some massively overwhelmed and others whose sadness from their loss of home drips from them like water, pooling around their feet. Students and staff wonder who are their people – who amongst these newbies will be their friends this year? Maybe they even signed up to be buddies keen to replace the friends they lost last year and are striving for connection.

Then just as the term starts to settle talk begins of contract renewals – who is up for renewal this year? Whispers about who is leaving and about who should probably leave as they clearly hate it but yet are still there year after year, hanging on for the cash while making themselves and all around them miserable…

By early term two, bang in the midst of newbie homesickness, the rumours start flying about who is going and where. We learn that that one family who has kept us sane for the past few years is moving to Europe to be closer to family or the colleague that keeps the department together is heading ‘off to new adventures and we wonder how we will cope without them.

The constant pinging of Whatsapp group expat sales groups between April and June provide the soundtrack to remind you that people are moving on. As the leavers panic about selling everything, the sadness sets in for those left behind.

The stayers start to try and make new friends with other stayers while their houses get fuller with reminders that the only constant in this life is change. The blender from the science teacher, a random assortment of cups to give to your new buddy, some awful picture that your friend clearly bought while drunk in Bali; houses haunted by the appliances of expats past.

And after the goodbye parties and half-hearted promises to always keep in touch you move onto the summer holidays before the rollercoaster starts again.

This cycle can feel overwhelming and often new staff are not prepared for the rollercoaster. This is why a robust transitions programme for both new students and staff is so important. Just making people aware of the cycle can help them prepare for it and understand why things seem so hard sometimes. 'Old' staff can get a bit jaded and may get to the point where they give up trying to make friends with new staff - losing so many people you care about can make them reluctant to try again, which in turn may lead to mental health problems such as depression. Acknowledging these difficulties and providing times for staff to come together can help to build connections. 

If you or any of your staff are struggling and would like some support please reach out.  

How to maintain your mental health while living abroad

When you move away from your home country, life can seem like a daring adventure. There are new cultures to experience and you learn so much about yourself and how to problem solve. There can be some difficulties such as language barriers and no matter how excited you are, you will probably experience some sort of culture shock and homesickness. 

So how can you maintain your mental health while living abroad? 

1. Keep in touch with family and friends back home. Talking to someone who knows your story can help you feel more connected and less isolated.

2. Talking to others who have been in your shoes can be really helpful. Seek out support from other expats or locals who understand what you’re going through.

3. Build a routine and stick to it as much as possible. Having a sense of predictability can help anchor you during times of change or stress.

4. Get outside and explore your new home - immerse yourself in activities.

5. Don't forget to take time for yourself- mental health is just as important as physical health! Make sure to schedule in some down time every day or week to do something that brings you joy.

6. Seek out professional help if you are struggling. 

Acknowledge that it's normal to feel homesickness and nostalgia while living in a new country

Adjusting to living in a foreign country can be tough, especially when you’re far from the people and places you call home. It’s normal to feel a sense of homesickness and nostalgia as you navigate through your new environment. Instead of trying to push away these feelings or put them aside, it’s important to acknowledge them and take time out of each day to check in with yourself regarding how you’re feeling. Taking moments to journal, meditate or practice mindfulness can help create an emotional equilibrium so that you can continue growing, thriving and getting the most out of living abroad.

Make an effort to connect with the local community and create a support system

Living away from home can have its fair share of struggles, but one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to create a new support system in the local community. Taking time to get to know our new surroundings, meet our neighbours and immerse ourselves in the local culture can not only enrich our experience abroad, but also make us feel more at home. Allocating time to attend cultural events or volunteer within the city allows us to forge connections with people with similar interests and build strong relationships that provide emotional support during times of need and loneliness. Making an effort to connect with those around us is an invaluable contribution to our mental health while living abroad.

Find healthy coping mechanisms for when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed

Moving abroad is an exciting yet challenging experience, and it’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed or stressed. Taking time to care for your mental health while living abroad is essential to make the most of your experience. It’s important to identify what coping mechanisms work best for you, so when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, you have positive solutions available. Some useful strategies include setting aside time each day for yourself, practicing mindful activities such as yoga or meditation, and speaking with friends or family back home. 

Take time for yourself – schedule in some alone time or do things that make you happy 

Taking the time to look after yourself and prioritize your own happiness is essential, so why not plan in some alone time or do something that brings you joy? Making sure you’re doing something for yourself every day helps keep everything in perspective and gives you the emotional space to invest in your own wellbeing. Seeing yourself as someone who deserves a bit of TLC means that you can put aside worries such as feeling overwhelmed or lonely, and trust that looking after yourself comes first.

Seek professional help if you're struggling to adjust or are experiencing more severe mental health issues

Experiencing unfamiliar cultures, environments, and languages can be overwhelming for anyone. Trying to adjust to these changes while living abroad can become too difficult at times and take a toll on your mental health. Talking through your emotions can provide comfort and also give you meaningful insights into how to tackle whatever difficulties you’re facing. At 7north we provide online and in-person counselling from our base in Phuket - please get in touch with us if you need support. 

In summary, moving to another country can be an exciting, challenging and overwhelming experience, both mentally and emotionally. It is normal to feel homesickness, nostalgia, and culture shock while adjusting to your new home. That's why it's important to have self-care strategies at the ready if things become too overwhelming. Take time for yourself, develop coping mechanisms that work for you, connect with the locals, and never be afraid to reach out for professional help if needed.  It takes time to adjust when living abroad but with adequate self-care practices in place these daily struggles can eventually give way to newfound joys found in your new home. 

So we ask you then: what do you do to maintain your mental wellbeing while living abroad? Leave some ideas in the comments below: